have you seen this?

if not, you should.

My friend, Francene, just opened a new Etsy shop. Check her out...

Sonia Sotomayor , President Obama's nominee for the Supreme Court, has Type 1 diabetes.

I've been running around all day and busy at my mom's, so I just found out tonight when Marc told me. I got chills.

As usual, Amy at Diabetes Mine has a great post up about using this as a "teachable moment." Already there's a lot of press, a lot of questions, a lot of misconceptions to be cleared up.

I'm really excited to tell Olivia tomorrow. The whole Supreme Court thing won't mean much to her at this point, but I think that my excitement will rub off.

Olivia had her endo appointment last week. I was dreading her A1c. Her numbers haven't really been out of control (except for the post-bedtime high that seems to arrive every night when her Humalog wears off), but I feel like diabetes management has not been top-of-mind recently. Her A1c had gone up, but only slightly from 6.9 to 7.1. I know that we have been the cause of that and I know that we can get it back down.

I was also dreading the appointment because they were going to take blood this time. We have talked about doing it for the last couple appointments, but it got pushed back each time. They would take three vials for the celiac screen, cholesterol, etc. The last couple of weeks have had O at the doctor a lot for general unpleasantness and I didn't want to put her through this, but I did want it out of the way. She cried a lot but held very still and got it done. We were glad it was over and I almost didn't give it another thought once we got out the door.

But the nurse practitioner called yesterday. Four out of five of the antibodies for celiac were positive. Four out of five. Positive. Celiac disease. And the numbers are so out of whack, so high, that there is almost no question, even though Olivia has been exhibiting no symptoms.

Part of me is just mad as hell. Just pissed. It all just seems so ridiculous. Like a cruel joke.

Another part of me is just trying to get on with it. Accept it and start thinking about how to get Olivia to eat more vegetables.

We still have to see a GI doctor in a couple of weeks and I have a lot of research to do. Apparently we are not supposed to change her diet until she has a biopsy, but since the treatment is the same regardless of whether or not the bowel has been damaged and we hope we have caught this early, I intend to question the need for the procedure.

It feels like I have all these pieces scattered all over - O's diabetes, this celiac panel, immune system issues that have come up for Marc and me - I don't know how to put everything together and keep us all healthy. And in the back of my mind, there is this: what about Sawyer?

On Tuesday, Olivia and I spent the better part of the day at her doctor's office trying to find out why she couldn't pee. The morning started off rough with me edgy and impatient, just wanting the election over and in the bag, and then moved straight into Really, Really Bad with her having to be catheterized after the doctor was unable to get any urine to test for infection. By the time we got back to my mom's house - in what was my smartest move of the day, I had picked my mom up and taken her with us to the pediatrician's - Olivia was worn out and I was weepy. My step-father was - how shall I say? - less than excited or gracious about the turn the election was taking and very vocal about his feelings. It was not exactly what I had in mind for Election Night. By the time we got home and got the kids to sleep, I was done. I stayed up (of course), but it was more of a relieved "whew!" than an ecstatic "WOO HOO!!!"

Tonight, I found this link and as I watched, I felt tears come to my eyes and I got excited all over again. This video, of course, led me to many others similar in spirit and I spent about 15 minutes watching people in Seattle, California and Kenya celebrate a new beginning.



Olivia has been feeling much better and the pediatrician called on Thursday. She doesn't have an infection.

President-Elect Obama's new website.

free food from a friend

My friend, Natalie, is a giver. Even though she's in NYC right now, she's still thinking of you. Visit her site today and you could win a $50 gift certificate to P.F. Chang's. You could win other things too, but I'm hungry and P.F. Chang's sounds good, so that's what caught my eye.

Anyway, check her out.

Update: And now with a working link. Doh.

Anyone else see anything about this today?

Amy Tenderich has a good post over at Diabetes Mine on the news of the FDA's recent, controversial study of the use of insulin pumps by teens. She points out some of the information that the FDA did NOT include and offers a link to one of the many recent studies which contradicts that of the FDA.

Marc recently requested a sample Omnipod in the mail. They sent us one which has the real inner workings, so the weight is the same, but rather than insert it with a needle, one can peel a backing off and put it on like a sticker. As part of his effort to get Olivia to let him put it on her, Marc has been showing her videos on YouTube of other children and their pumps.

This afternoon, she asked me to watch the video about Samantha with her.



Lost it. Completely. I was barely able to hold things together enough to make it through and take a break in the kitchen.

It's really important that we act enthusiastic when she meets other children who also have diabetes, children who have pumps, but it can be almost soul-crushing to hear your three-year-old say, "Mommy, she has diabetes...just like me!" as though it were the most exciting thing.

Also soul-crushing? The first two minutes of this video:



No parent should have to do these things to their child. No child should have to endure it.

There is no cure for diabetes. Yet.

We will not be raising money for the JDRF's Ride for the Cure this year, but we are walking in our local walk. If you would like to donate to Team O, please follow this link.

There's a new book out called Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure and Shannon and Nicole both tagged me for a meme based on the premise. One is encouraged to condense one's life story to six words. Tricky.

Once was lost, now less so.

I'm a little late to this, so I'll just post the rules and encourage anyone who wants to join in to do so on their blog or in the comments here (ahem, Alish!).

Write your own six word memoir.
Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
Link to the person who tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible.
Tag at least five more blogs with links.
Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Sometimes the more I have to talk about, the fewer words I have with which to do it. For example, February 1st was the one year anniversary of Olivia's diagnosis. I had been aware of the anniversary creeping up on us, but I didn't really want to think about it. I still don't. I have just felt sort of angry and tired about the whole thing. I don't want a year to have passed. I don't want to have to say, "It was a year ago, two years ago, five years ago..." I still don't want it to be real.

When I feel this way, I get avoidant. Let things slide. Refuse to deal. Last night, I went for much longer without checking O's blood sugar than I normally ever would. Just too tired. Didn't want to poke her again. Didn't want to get up. Just didn't want to do it, damn it.

This in turn makes me feel guilty. Imagine how she feels, I tell myself. Actually, I don't have to imagine. I read it in people's blogs, what it is like to live with it. There is no avoiding diabetes.

So, I'll get it together. Write a little, grieve a little. Move on, cut myself some slack. There has to be some ebb and flow.

Time keeps rushing further away from that February night when we rushed O to the ER; hopefully, we are moving just as quickly towards a cure.

So, it's possible that I made some kind of strategic error this morning.

For some time now, O's been pretty attached to the bear that she received in the Bag of Hope that was given to her at the hospital when she was diagnosed. (The bear, which differs in gender from the one shown in the link, has a Medical Alert bracelet and colorful patches where it gets "injections." Olivia calls it Shotsy. No joke.)

We've noticed that Shotsy seems to be a surrogate Olivia when it is convenient.

"Shotsy's tired."
"Shotsy's crying."
"Shotsy's in time out."

We have played along with this, because there really hasn't seemed any reason not to. We suggest that she get Shotsy a blanket, or perhaps have a talk with him about why we don't hit, and that has been the end of it.

This morning, after indulging another obsession, I played along with O's new imaginary friend and then watched incredulously as things took a turn for the worse.

Olivia saw a couple of scenes from A Christmas Story at my mom's house over the holidays, a few crucial scenes, including the one where the little boy loses a bet and gets his tongue stuck to a flagpole. She talked about it for days, until we got the idea that we could probably find that scene for her on YouTube. Mistake #1.

There has been no end to the talk about the flagpole and questions about the flagpole and requests to watch the flagpole, flagpole, flagpole, flagpole. And I'll admit that I have maybe let the flagpole watching go on a bit too long, perhaps on a day when I wanted to clean the kitchen or go to the bathroom by myself.

So, this morning, Olivia starts again with the questions about the little boy.

"What's the little boy's name?"

The only name from the movie I know is Ralph, so Ralph it is.

"Ralph. His name is Ralph."

"Ralph's coming to my house to play."

And so it begins.

"Where's Ralph going to sit? Can Ralph have some granola?"

At first I find this amusing and I am trying to get breakfast in her and if putting another bowl out on the table gets this show on the road, then I am game.

"Sure, Ralph can have some granola."

But, then....

"NOOOOOO, don't take that bowl. Ralph didn't get to eat."
"Is Ralph here, Mommy?"
"When's Ralph coming?"
"Are you going to play with Ralph?"
"Where's Ralph?"

On and on. And then on some more.

I'm immediately stumped. What are you supposed to do with the imaginary friend thing? Ignore it? Play along? Explain Ralph is in a movie and isn't real? Act like I don't speak English?

Trust me, over the course of the day, I got to try them all out. And of course, in that wacky, bent-logic way that two-year-olds have, Olivia had an answer to everything.

Ralph can't play because he's not real? But he's right there!
Ralph can't eat cereal because he's allergic? But he ate some of hers!
Ralph's in time-out? He'll be right back!

Finally, Marc came home, listened for about five minutes, told Olivia that Ralph had to go home for dinner, and that was that.

He hasn't been back since.

It took me the better part of Sunday to get through this story and the accompanying videos. The time that wasn't spent reading and watching was spent thinking about Walker, the author's son who was born with an extremely rare and singularly devastating genetic disorder. I then spent the better part of yesterday trying to express how this story, these people made me feel.



There is strength and grace and courage like nothing I have ever seen in the way these children and their families live and in the way this father tells his child's story. If you only have time for part of it, watch the video in Part 3, Chapter 1: Blink of Light.

We just got these great pins (plus one more that already found its way onto my coat) from Beth.

 

Thanks so much, Beth!

I woke up this morning never having been tagged and then POW...twice in one day. I think that I can get this done, but I am not sure that I will be able to find seven bloggers to whom I can pass this along.

Here's how it's supposed to work:
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

Cara and Bernard hit me up for it, so here we go...

1. I cannot dive, do a cartwheel, play pool, throw darts, or remember the rules to any card game. Nor can I hold my liquor, tell a joke, or change a tire. No wonder Alish calls me Princess.

2. However, I can tell a funny story, throw a great forehand flick with a frisbee, am a good speller, and still believe in writing letters and sending them to you through the post.

3. While I am not a fan of contemporary country, the only music that I hate is Celtic. And I really hate it. Our local public radio station plays Celtic Harvest or Celtic Sunrise or Celtic Lullaby or whatever it is every Sunday. Hate.

4. I get on a kick and I eat the same thing for breakfast every day for months and months and months. Currently, it is a big bowl of granola.

5. I believe in ghosts because I have a very, very good reason to do so.

6. I have two tattoos. I can't see either of them and thus don't really have occasion to regret them.

Update: Turns out that Kerri tagged me, too.

7. I ate Play Doh when I was little. Frankly, I still think that it smells delicious.

OK, I am going to have to skip the last part and just ask you to tag yourself. Sorry. We are having a napless afternoon and my attention is called for elsewhere.

World Diabetes Day

(Sorry that looks all wonky. I have been trying to fix it, but have run out of time.)

Update: Grrr. I am having Blogger issues and can't fix things that I want to fix or comment on posts upon which I wish to comment.

So, I am just going to put some links up here and suggest that you go take a look.

Sandra has a fabulous post on World Diabetes Day here.

Bernard, the Hardest Working Man in the Diabetes Online Community, started an AMAZING project called Diabetes 365. Please go check it out.

And finally, Manny's video from the word in your hand project.


Find more videos like this on Tu Diabetes - A Community for People Touched by Diabetes

Marc and I went out together...alone...for the first time in many, many moons last night. We'll call it Date Nite 2007. We're trying to make this happen with a little more frequency, but for now it seems to be an annual event.

We went to Table 2 and I was pleasantly surprised, because I have read some less than stellar stuff about their service. Service last night was fine, the food was great, and the martini was damn near perfect. So that was nice. We went to the theater for a late movie and I think that I could have sat in the lobby for a couple of hours watching all the teen drama going down. The place was so full of free-floating anxiety, angst, and lust...it was well worth the price of admission.

I was prepared to love The Darjeeling Limited as much as I love Wes Anderson's other movies, but I didn't quite and I am not entirely sure why. I just felt too conscious of the experience of it as a Movie. Know what I mean? Instead of being totally captivated by what Anderson had created, I felt sort of annoyed with Owen Wilson and his peacock feathers. It definitely had its moments, especially the very beginning and the scenes with the boys in India, but I felt a bit meh about it. Maybe I'll like it more after I see it again.

(I know, I know...I'm sort of phoning this one in, but it is Sunday.)

This year, World Diabetes Day will be recognized on November 14th. According to the website, the United Nations passed a landmark Resolution last year recognizing diabetes as a chronic, debilitating and costly disease. The Resolution designates World Diabetes Day as a United Nations Day to be observed every year starting in 2007.

The theme of this year's World Diabetes Day campaign is Diabetes in Children and Adolescents. Type 1 diabetes is growing by 3 percent each year in children and adolescents, and at an alarming 5 percent each year among pre-school children. It is estimated that 70,000 children under the age of 15 develop type 1 diabetes each year - this is almost 200 children a day.

One of the key points of the campaign is that diabetes hits poor children the hardest. I think daily about children who don't have access to insulin, syringes, other supplies and strong medical support. We are so blessed at present to have great coverage for Olivia and a wonderful endo team, but why us and not others? No child should die for lack of insulin.

There aren't any events taking place on that date in our area, so I don't know what we will do to "celebrate," but I will be using the blog to get the word out. If you have a blog and haven't done so already, please consider adding a World Diabetes Day banner to your site. Consider supporting the Life for a Child sponsorship program. Or just read through their material and pick up some talking points. Pass along the word.

We went on our version of a date last night: dinner out with Olivia - the epitome of relaxation. I'm kidding...it was fine, but she is reaching the age where she requires a lot of jazz hands and spirit fingers to keep her entertained. She is always finishing her dinner about the time that ours are arriving.

We walked the Riverwalk over to the Hunter Museum to see the fireworks. I would have taken some pictures, but it is difficult to do so with a two-year-old glommed onto your neck. The first BOOM brought a shriek and a demand to be taken home.

 

2 seconds prior to fireworks - 3 seconds prior to screaming

We retreated a bit and she allowed herself to enjoy the show from there, even coming out with a couple of appreciative, "fireWORKS! fireWORKS!"

 

We went back to Hunter today for some promised toddler activities which, for the most part, did not materialize, but we enjoyed the museum and spent some time relaxing. It was a nice way to spend a day in the middle of the week and kicks off what promises to be an interesting 7 days for us: Paint the House 2007. Marc and I diverge wildly on how we see this venture: I will be amazed if we get everything done. AMAZED. He thinks that everything will be knocked out just in time for him to kick back and watch the Tour de France. We shall see.

 

Anyway, hope that it was a good 4th for all. Here's my obligatory link to the Declaration of Independence, just in case you didn't get a chance to read or hear it read this year.