I could not have been more nervous about telling Olivia about the baby. I thought that the recriminations and fear, the jealousy and feelings of abandonment would start immediately in a flurry of dramatic tears and tantrums. I visited websites and forums trying to figure out the timing...not too soon so that she would constantly be thinking today was the day, only to be told it would be a long wait...not so late that I was showing and everyone was talking about it over her head. I checked books out of the library and brought them home to pour over, rejecting those that blew too much sunshine about how fabulous the transformation to Big Sister would be for her and also those that put a little too much emphasis on all the naughty things she might feel compelled to do once the baby arrived and no one was paying any attention to her. I settled on a couple that seemed to tell a cheery but realistic story and Marc and I sat down with them and her one Sunday afternoon. When I opened my mouth to start, I felt like I was getting ready to jump off a cliff or start a break-up speech, like I was going to want to suck my words right back up in about 15 seconds. But when I got it out there, she was really excited. She wanted to look at the books and at my tummy and then immediately started talking about the baby in her tummy (who is, if I got the story straight...wait for it...Shotsy.)

I should have known that she would be into the idea at this point. She loves babies. We have several tiny ones in our playgroup and from the minute we walk in our friend's door each week, Olivia is focused on gettin' her some newborn. The moms are sweet enough to let her hold them, replace their pacifiers and scrutinize each diaper change.

I know that things will be different once the baby is actually here. I do think that it is going to be difficult for her, sharing us and our time, not being able to play with the baby like she does Shotsy. But for now she is really enjoying getting ready and is so sweet with me, kissing my tummy and inquiring about the baby after my doctor appointments. One afternoon not long ago, I exclaimed about something in the kitchen and from the other room, she asked, "What is it, Mommy? Is the baby here?"

And while she told us from the beginning that she thought the baby was a girl and we should name her Ruby, she seems very excited to learn that she is actually in fact going to have a little brother.