At O's last appointment with the endo team, we had our on-going discussion about where we are in terms of the pump. It was decided that we would take a loaner home for a week or so. Our diabetes educator has a stuffed animal with a special patch on its tummy for the infusion set. But we had another plan...

 

That's right...Shotsy wore the pump. And he was a trooper about it. Olivia was very interested in the pump and the tubing and putting it on the bear. We thought that it might make her feel more comfortable with the whole idea. And maybe it did.

 

But she drew up short when it came to allowing us to use the I-Port again. She steadfastly refused, even after Marc put one on. She did tend to Shotsy and his pump for a few days, but I eventually came upon everything lying on the floor where she had left it after ripping it out. All in all I'm glad we did it...maybe we are getting there.

This seems odd...

4:56pm blood glucose 147
8:25pm bg 135
10:55pm bg 140
2:22am bg 144

Is this odd? At first I was afraid something was wrong with the meter, but I suppose this is exactly what we are striving for and I have just never seen it quite like this before. This time period included a snack, dinner, insulin, exercise, and a bedtime snack. I know there were fluctuations; I guess we just happened to catch the numbers around the same point in their ups and downs.

I hate looking at a number and not knowing which direction she is headed, especially at night. Continuous Glucose Monitoring is a miracle and I look forward to the day, though I still don't know if O is ready to move beyond injections. We have not been using the iPorts, because she protested so much and I just haven't had the heart to override her. I can't help feeling that her reaction to a pump would be similar.

My blog hiatus stretches close to a month, so I guess I better end this dry spell. I don't know why I have been absent. There's been plenty worth documenting.

O turned two.


(The cupcakes were low sugar and delicious. O's numbers were beautiful all day. A nice present for us all.)

We put off making a decision on Baby Number Two.

O's off the ports. She wore two and they definitely made things easier, but she could not get used to it and asked us not to put in another. So we are taking a break, but will try again soon. Without them, the injections are again an ordeal for both of us. It basically comes down to sit on her or sneak up on her and neither feels like a good option.

Some days I feel like I have allowed myself to be lulled. I haven't been reading much about diabetes, haven't been preparing for or researching the pump. I watch her numbers; I count her carbs (trying to figure out how much she gets and how much she feeds to the dog); I try to factor in how her activity level will come into play. If it works today, I'll try to replicate it tomorrow. It rarely does, though, and tomorrow morning I will be back at it, counting, guessing, praying. Day slides into day. A bit of a holding pattern, which is probably neither bad nor good, I guess. Catching my breath.

But Olivia? Most definitely not in a holding pattern. We go to the playground, the zoo, the museum. She picks up a new word every 17 seconds and keeps up a running commentary on everything she sees. She sings Twinkle, Twinkle to her bear. She asks to hold my hand. She amazes me every single day.

O had an endo appointment this week and everything went well. Everything went really well. Despite more than a month's worth of illness and high blood sugars and battles over and delays of most injections, her A1C was 7.7. I was shocked. The nurse practitioner helped us put in an I-Port so that some of the injections could be adminstered there, saving her some sticks and allowing us to get her insulin in her in a more timely fashion. And finally, we got some information that might help us as we go forward in making the decision about whether or not to have another child.

O hardly noticed the port; we told her what it was for and how we would use it. She fussed a little with the first couple of injections through it, but they didn't seem to hurt and the whole thing seemed a major improvement over what has been going on with each and every shot. Trouble came when we took off her clothes for her bath. She really noticed the "button" for the first time, touching it gingerly and asking to see it in the mirror. She walked to our room with tiny little steps, cheeks clenched as though it might fall off. The look on her face as she turned from side to side trying to see it on her cheek broke my heart. She didn't want to get in the tub and cried hysterically when I finally put her in after she peed on the floor. She never did sit down; only stood there sobbing while I bathed her and told her again and again what the button was for and that it wouldn't hurt her. She wanted her diaper and clothes back on as soon as I lifted her out of the water.

But the next day, she seemed to be less fearful and more intrigued. She told her Nan about "my button" first thing and then seemed to forget about it. We were going to change it on Sunday, but it came out when Marc bathed her last night. We didn't put another in before she went to sleep and when he went to give her the next injection, she asked for the button, so I guess she has decided the injections are indeed preferable through the port. We'll see how it goes when we try to put the next one in without assistance.