November 05, 2007

Dear Tiny Man in the Large Truck,

Hi. Welcome to the slow lane. You are obviously new here; I am going to guess that you and your gas-guzzling monster with the grill made to look like flames are used to something a little more aggressive than what we have happening on the far right. Over here, in the slow lane, things are different...slower. We like to keep things safe for those of us trying to drive while drinking coffee, talking on the phone and handing crackers to the toddlers in our backseats.

I can't really see your face in the rearview seeing as how your truck is so tall and you are so close, but if I could I bet you would look angry and pinched. Relax. Back off a little and enjoy some personal space. I certainly will feel better when I am not having to worry about whether a sudden stop is going to send your two-ton Tonka crunching over me and all that I love in the world.

I don't really understand what your plan is with this...are you trying to get me to go faster? Do you think that I am going to move off the road completely? Or are you just a clueless fool who can't see that this kind of driving is really dangerous and rude?

Now, you can't see my face either, obviously, but if you could...wait. Maybe that's the problem; you just don't see me. Do you even know that I am down here in front of you? Down here, in the normal size car on the normal size tires? Maybe I'll just give you a little wave. A little one-finger wave and that will clear everything up? No, perhaps not. Maybe I'll just keep slowing down until you have no choice but to go around me.

Off you go then. Do us all a favor: Slow it down. Trade in that truck. Lay off the meth. There's a lot to see and do in the world, but you are not going to get to it any faster by driving like that.

Slow and steady wins the race,


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Anonymous alish said...

ahh, putting your obsession to work. i love it. i hope all who drive around you read this and take it to heart.

5:45 PM  
Blogger KentT said...


Being a Nissan Sentra driver I am in agreement about everything said about such wimps in ginormous Southern trucks. I dislike tailgaters and those who believe that their manhood is tied to the size of their truck.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Bernard said...

Thanks for the laugh Paige.

I needed that after your earlier post.

That wave of yours sounds real friendly. Good for you. :-)

11:40 AM  

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