November 02, 2007


So I took this picture a week or so ago and was going to upload it to the Word in Your Hand project at Tu Diabetes, but then I thought I had lost it while re-sizing it and I never did it. I found it today, so I'll put it up here. This was a word that we picked for O and it certainly applies, but if I was going to pick a word that sums up my feelings about diabetes, it would be "relentless." Diabetes is a constant in our lives, but there is really nothing constant about it except for the relentlessness.

Today has been a truly lovely day. O and I met with some friends this morning about a possible business venture. Despite the wriggling two-year-old on my lap and the table full of Play-Doh, I felt like a grown-up for a bit and I am really excited about some new possibilities that are appearing on the horizon.

My mom is back in town after a vacation and we had a nice lunch together and filled her in on what she had missed at Halloween.

O and I ran errands with the sunroof open and windows down, listening to Ryan Adams and making bear dance. O sang and made jokes and just generally cracked me up.

Sounds perfect, right? Except...

Inexplicably, she was stuck at 360 all day. I stuck her at breakfast, again at the coffee shop, during lunch with my mom, before naptime. I have given her a ton of insulin today out of brand-new bottles and I haven't been able to budge her. It is crazy-making.

You couldn't tell it for looking at her; she seems to feel fine, but it's there. It's always there and I hate that I can never, EVER, look at her and just see my child. I am always trying to see what it is doing to her. Do her eyes look red? Is the insulin finally working? Too much? Is she rubbing her stomach because it hurts? It's always lurking around somewhere, a constant.

But what can we do but go on with our perfect day? She has let me poke her finger again and again; she's fought me just a little on the shots. And I have tried, when I looked at her, to just see the "brave," instead of the "360."

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It helps me to accept a perfect day immensely when our kids look as though their numbers aren't affecting their outward appearance.

Of course being that I need explanations for consistently high numbers, I'll suggest that maybe she's going througha growth spurt?

I agree with her hand....she is very brave.

8:24 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

You know what's crazy making? When I leave a comment and it comes up as anonymous....

8:25 PM  
Anonymous katiek said...

this is a great post, and a sweet picture. I would totally post it no matter what. You're doing great, and I can't wait to hear about your business venture. It wouldn't happen to be on Main Street would it ;)

9:24 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I love this post! Isn't it great when they remind you that they are just kids having a really great day...weather their numbers are good or not.

Izzy floated so high for so long that now that she is down in range she feels low a lot when she isn't. Strange.

Good luck getting that number in control.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Paige said...

shannon - you are probably right about the growth spurt; she's due for one, as she hadn't grown much btwn her last endo appts.

katiek - thanks! it could be on main street; we don't know quite yet! I am going to want to talk with you soon about possibly helping us out with some advice. I know that you have learned so much putting on the clothesline!

lisa - so glad that izzy is doing better now!

10:33 AM  
Blogger Bernard said...

Brave seems exactly the right word for all of you. Wow 360 all day is just stinky, poor thing.

Best of luck with the business. Tell us more when you can.

10:23 PM  
Blogger KentT said...

Paige,

O will go higher during growth spurts. They increase insulin needs and BG numbers fluctuate. Experienced this with Erik. Pumps are superb for growing, active toddlers. She looks happy and spirited.

3:17 PM  

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