May 24, 2007

1:00 am wide awake
Lord help.
Lord please.
Let me make the right decisions.
Help me stay focused.

Days I feel like we're managing.
1:00 am I stare at the ceiling fan and know I am missing something.
Something's headed down the road at me and I am not prepared.
Complications. Bad reactions. Damage.

She has a rash. Is it just a rash?
Bruises all over her arms from the needles. Daytime I see them for what they are.
I look at them in the light coming in the window at night and I hate them.
Clean her finger, prick her finger, wait for the numbers.
I could do this in my sleep now.
But I don't
1:00 am wide awake.

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Anonymous alish said...

please will you move to nashville?

10:09 PM  
Blogger Bernard said...


You're doing a great job. Complications are not a given, and think the Lord will help you take good care of her.

5:37 AM  
Blogger Penny said...

Right there with you, girl.


9:53 AM  
Blogger Nicole P said...

Paige - I wish I could help. I'll be thinking of you. You are doing a great job - know that. - Nicole

1:11 PM  
Blogger courtney said...

love you. love o. sending you positive thoughts from far away. this is proably like saying try not to feel gravity, but try not to worry too much, because you are doing everything you can and that worry will exhuast even your boundless energy. please try to just turn it off and focus on something silly and mindless and give your brain a break. i recommend 20 minutes of you tube to see what the crazy kids are up to these days. deep breaths. chuckles. grins.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Kerri. said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. It will get easier. And she will be okay.

4:25 PM  

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