No sooner do we finally move out of the March Morass of Illness and Olivia wakes up sick again. I hate the feeling of helplessness. I hate that I can hear her raspy breathing from her room as she sleeps. Ever since she had the virus last year that we hypothesize may have kicked her diabetes into gear, I have this constant low-grade terror about what is going on in her body...what the diabetes is doing, what this cold or that virus might mean, is she running a fever or dumping ketones...is something else creeping up that we don't even know about yet? It felt so good to be able to breath a bit easier this week when she felt better; now I realize just how scared I am all the time about her health.