August 16, 2007

I keep sitting down to write and all that comes out is:

IT'S HOT. I'M HOT. BURNING. FLESH HURTS. LUNGS ARE TIRED. TOO HOT.

Perhaps part of the problem is that IT'S HOT. Wait, that's not where I was going with that. I'm not sleeping. Perhaps I will never sleep again. I'm starting to have some serious "Nightmare on Elm Street" type tension about bedtime.

It's not that I can't go to sleep. It's that I can't stay asleep. O's blood sugar fluctuates pretty wildly at night. We might head to bed with a decent blood sugar, then screw it up with a snack and spend the next five hours trying to decide whether or not we should correct. Or she might head to bed with a decent number only to bottom out at 2:00a. I never feel secure in just letting her go through even the better part of the night without checking.

Having Marc get up and do some of the checking is quite frankly not worth my time. He sleeps much more soundly than I do and doesn't wake to an alarm very well. If he is going to get up, nine times out of ten it is going to take me to wake him, and even if I don't have to wake him, I am still going to be awake. What's the point in both of us being up?

Last night O was 90 at 1:00am and would not eat or drink anything, not even a glucose tab, which is usually considered a big treat. I set the alarm for 45 minutes so that I could get up and check her again and give her a snack. The alarm didn't go off and I fell deeply asleep, not waking until 4:00. Of course, by then she had fallen to 51.

Apparently, I can get by on a smaller amount of sleep than I have ever needed or enjoyed in the past. But when I consider this going on and on and on (much like this HEAT we are having. HOT), I get a little antsy. I am afraid of what it is going to do to me over the long haul. Early-onset dementia at the worst and general fogginess and stupidity at best?

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10 Comments:

Anonymous jill said...

i pray that the lord will give you the strength and endurance that can only come from him. i can't imagine the anxiety and fear that you must be daily dealing with. you are in my prayers in johnson city.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Boy...you and I should get together! I have been having major sleep issues too. We are very lucky because we are not having the major changes in BS during the night, but if Izzy is at all high then she can't sleep. She will wake me up 3 or 4 times a night. It has been really hard for me...my husband can sleep through just about anything too so I do all of the getting up during the night. Plus Isabelle only wants me at night.

Sorry this was so long. I just wanted you to know that there are others out there that understand what you are going through. You can always e-mail me if you want to talk. lisarstratton@yahoo.com

10:31 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

LOL, they should create a home for all of us moms who are up checking our kids through the night if dementia does indeed set in. (sorta like an old folks home).

I never sleep through the night either. I'm fortunate enough to catch a cat nap during the day. I don't actually fall asleep, but it's nice to close my eyes for a little while. Luckily Jake sticks close by me. Jessica and Brendon are old enough to do something to keep them occupied.

Can you get O to lay down with you while she watches a video if she isn't napping anymore?

Just that little power nap makes a big difference for me.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous alli said...

I hope you get some rest soon... I know that when I can't sleep I get super cranky.

Praying for strength.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just past two years since being dx'd and I still do the night checks. However, I go back to sleep for a nap once she is on the school bus and we have her sleep in late on weekends so her Mom is then able to catch up. Since she is still a toddler -- if you are a stay at home mom -- I would adjust her schedule to suit mine; i.e.,I would keep her up much later at night, have hubby check at 6am before he goes to work, and sleep in most days. If she goes to a preschool, I would get the afternoon session. You would still have to get up at 2 am, but if you could sleep until 9 or 10am, it will work. No solutions for those nights when you will have to stay up for more than one check. It's very hard at first. My body has seemed to adjust after these two years to very little sleep. I can function somewhat on three hours a night if I have to because I think you become so tired that the sleep is a deep sleep. For example, on the weekends, she will stay up 11:30 or 12 midnight. Her Mom will then check her at 1:30 or 2 am. I get up at 5:30 am and will check before work. If she is below 100 I will wake her and give her carbs to hold her until her Mom gets up. Her Mom will then set the alarm for 10am. It works out well. P.S. Of course this can only work if you do not have other children at home you have to tend to.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Carey said...

I can sadly relate all too well to everything you are experiencing. The nights are blurs of intermittent sleep, juice boxes and finger prickings.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Paige said...

Thanks, Jill. I appreciate it.

O's the same way, Lisa. If she wakes at night, she doesn't want anything to do with Marc. I'll email you...and I'm going to add you to my blogroll, OK?

Shannon, you hush your mouth! Don't even start talking like there is going to be a day when O doesn't nap. shudder. And we should totally get that home going...it could be a resort for now!

Thanks, Alli. We'll look for you guys at the playground...if it ever gets cool enough to go again.

Anonymous - You guys totally have a system going! Come stay with us for a weekend and get us in shape!

Well, Carey, at least we aren't alone, right?

4:16 PM  
Blogger Penny said...

Man, I could have written this post.

I started sleeping through the alarm too, so it is now on the other side of the room. I have to get up to turn it off.

Also, my husband does not wake to the alarm, so if he tests I have to wake him up too. But, I've found it's easier for me to go back to sleep if I don't actually get up out of bed but get him to.

((big hug)) [and a big yawn to go along with that]

8:16 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

I've given up on having TCBIM do any night tests, too. He could sleep thru a nuclear war. I'm usually up until at least 1 a.m. because I have The Child That Refuses To Sleep with The Bug.

There was a long thread going on the parents email list on CWD one time about setting up a commune-type thing, with all the parents rotating thru night checks. Wouldn't that be great?

10:55 PM  
Blogger Amberthyme said...

The alarm is on my husbands side of the bed and the last two times I slept through the alarm and then forgot to reset it for wake up. So I've now started to set my phone to an annoying ringtone + vibrate and set it on the night stand.
I'm in for the resort. Or commune! We could take turns testing the children and getting a good night's sleep. Wow that would be so cool.

6:22 PM  

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